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I go
to confession to feel good about myself. Why do you recommend confession
to begin the treatment?
 he problem with the sacrament of
Reconciliation is that, for many persons, even though they “confess”
they do so only intellectually. That is, they
confess only the surface behavior, and they never reach down into that deep
unconscious part of themselves that
wants to sin, wants to be
disobedient, and wants
spiritual suicide. Unless this part of the
personality is healed, your spiritual progress
will always be restricted.
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 Too
bad for us if we wish to settle back and rest as if peace and safety were
already accomplished! Why, not a sign of true holiness has yet to appear
in our daily lives! It would be good for us to start all over and, like good
beginners, be taught the ways of good behavior once again. If we did, there
might be some hope of changing in the future and some hope of spiritual
progress. |
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—Thomas à Kempis
The Imitation of Christ,
Bk 1, Ch 22: “Of Human Misery”
(Trans. by William Creasy) |
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Spiritual
Progress
What is spiritual progress anyway?
Well, it begins when a soul repents its sins and becomes reconciled with
God.
Keep in mind here that God loves
us by calling us out of our sins—the very offenses that separate souls
from God in this life (and that separate souls from God eternally in
hell) if they are not repented. When the Jews
talked about God “wiping away sins,” they referred to God’s
willingness to allow us to be reconciled to Him if we repented our sins.
God’s willingness for reconciliation with us was later sealed with
blood—Christ’s blood—as a contract, the New Covenant of
Christianity.
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And you who once
were alienated and hostile in mind because of evil deeds he has now reconciled
in his fleshly body through his death, to present you holy, without blemish,
and irreproachable before him, provided that you persevere in the faith,
firmly grounded, stable, and not shifting from the hope of the gospel that
you heard. |
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—Colossians 1:21–23 |
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Progress continues as the soul
remains in a state of grace and grows more and more pure in
love. And if a soul should falter in its progress
and commit a sin, that sin will separate the soul from God’s grace;
the sin, however, can be repented and confessed so that the soul can return
to a state of grace.
The Caricature
of Confession
Almost everyone knows the classic
caricature of Confession: a person goes out on the weekend, gets drunk, commits
all sorts of sins, and the next day goes to Confession and Mass, walking
away feeling like “God is in His heaven and all is well with the
world.” And then, the next weekend, it happens all over
again.
Now, confessing your sins with
perfect contrition does lead to your reconciliation with God. Over and over
again. God is infinitely
patient.
But that is not the end of the
story.
There’s another, deeper
sin here: the sin of presumption.
The Sin of
Presumption
If you keep committing the same
sins over and over, you presume that you can be reconciled with God without
having to change your behavior. You presume that a show of contrition
can pass for perfect contrition. But contrition is perfect only when
you are moved to such sorrow that you will do
anything you can to change your
behavior.[1]
If you are unwilling to do anything it takes to change your behavior,
you are not really contrite, and you are not confessing all your sins, because
one of your sins is the unwillingness to do anything it takes to
change your behavior. And what you do not confess prevents your
reconciliation with God. Presumption, therefore, is a wicked snare because
it can make itself appear as if it isn’t even happening.
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Keep in mind,
though, that in this life all of us, even the saints among us, are
wretched creatures, and that we are always making
mistakes and committing small sins.
Nevertheless,
there can be no “excuse” for a genuine Christian to commit mortal
sins, even though such behavior—such as doubting God’s mercy,
providence, or justice; unfair, deceptive, or dishonest business practices;
injuring others through gossip or rumors; immodest dress; unchaste conduct;
and seeking to hurt others in revenge whenever they hurt you—may be
commonly accepted in contemporary
society. |
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Summary
So, go to Confession and remember
it. And then, after you have followed this website’s spiritual
counsels for at least three months, look back
on your confession. Recognize all that had gone unspoken when you confessed
that first time, in spiritual blindness,
and then, with newly opened eyes, see how you have been
fooling yourself all your life.
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Bless your servant
and I shall live and obey your word.
Open my eyes that I may see the wonders of your law. |
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—Psalm 119:17-18 |
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Examination
Guide
1. |
If you believe that God despises
you and that you are unlovable, then you don’t really love
God. |
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You are blaming yourself
for your parents’ inability to love you. |
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2. |
If you say you love God but engage
in self-destructive behavior, then you don’t really love
yourself. |
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You are using
self-destruction (motivated by self-hatred) to satisfy your anger at others
by punishing them unconsciously. But you can’t love yourself if you
secretly hate yourself. |
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3. |
If you say you love yourself
but aren’t concerned about the salvation of others, you don’t really
love others. |
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You’re confusing
self-indulgence with love and are using spirituality as an excuse for
narcissism. |
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4. |
If you say you love others but
continue to hold grudges against anyone, you don’t really forgive
others. |
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You’re using
premature
forgiveness [2]
as a tactic to convince yourself that you are loving when you really are
filled with feelings of victimization. |
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5. |
If you say you love others but
don’t find your own life meaningful, you don’t really love
yourself. |
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You’re following
the rules with intellectual perfectionism, not love. |
___________
1. Such as cut off your right hand if it causes
you to sin (see Matthew 5:30, 18:8; Mark 9:43)—or, more psychologically
realistic, go into psychotherapy to resolve your
hidden conflicts.
2. This means that you’re still denying your
unconscious anger and resentment, so even though
you think you’ve come to terms with what happened, there are still emotions
about the event which you have pushed out of awareness. In fact, many persons
can get caught up in this premature forgiveness as a way to avoid coping
with all the unpleasant emotions they would rather not
examine.
What the
Catechism of the Catholic Church says:
1452 When
it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is
called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits
venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the
firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as
possible.
1458 Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday
faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church.
Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience,
fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress
in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament
the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as He
is merciful.
1855 Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of
man by a grave violation of God’s law; it turns man away from God, who
is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to
Him.
1861 Mortal sin is a radical possibility of human freedom,
as is love itself. It results in the loss of charity and the privation of
sanctifying grace, that is, of the state of grace. If it is not redeemed
by repentance and God’s forgiveness, it causes exclusion from Christ’s
Kingdom and the eternal death of hell, for our freedom has the power to make
choices for ever, with no turning back. However, although we can judge that
an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons
to the justice and mercy of God.
  
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