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Psychological Healing
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Judgment

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“Don’t be judgmental!” | Silenced by “Diversity” | Necessary Judgment | Forbidden Judgment | Summary | Psychological Counsels

 
Don’t be judgmental!

How often have you heard that exclamation as a snappy rebuttal to an attempt to point out an error?

     “No one should come to Church wearing shorts.”
     “Don’t be judgmental!”

     “Anyone who makes a public denial of the faith should be denied Communion.”
     “Don’t be judgmental!”

     “Our bishop is not only not defending the faith, he’s pouring it down the drain.”
     “Don’t be judgmental!”

The truth is, none of these things is judgmental, but the agents of satan in the Church would have you so believe in order that they might silence any opposition to their nefarious goals.

In fact, they even tried this same tactic with Jesus Himself. When He criticized the Pharisees for their hypocrisy (Luke 11: 42-46), a scholar of the law complained, “Teacher, by saying this you are insulting us too.” And what did Jesus do? He rebuked the scholars, too: “Woe also to you scholars of the law! You impose on people burdens hard to carry, but you yourselves do not lift one finger to touch them.”

 
Silenced by “Diversity”

Now, several verses in the New Testament do warn us against being judgmental; see, for example, Matthew 7:1 (“Stop judging, that you may not be judged”), Luke 6:37 (“Stop judging and you will not be judged”), Romans 14:13 (“Then let us no longer judge one another”), and James 4:12 (“Who then are you to judge your neighbor?”).

Because of these verses, many persons today, especially in our contemporary social climate of political correctness and diversity, claim that it’s “judgmental” to speak about moral values in society or to say anything to defend the faith because someone might feel hurt and offended.

“Don’t be judgmental!” they say. “Who are you to talk? You’re not perfect either!”

Well, rather than be silenced on the spot, let’s ask a couple of questions here: “What does it really mean to judge? And what sort of judging is forbidden to us?”

 
Necessary Judgment

Consider that we have all kinds of judges in our society whose purpose is to judge. These men and women must determine whether someone accused of a crime is guilty or not, and then they must determine a legally fitting punishment. If these judges stopped judging, free civil society would collapse. The Bible does warn us that these judges must act with impartiality and justice, but this sort of judging is not what is meant when we are told not to judge our neighbor.

We also have a personal level of judgment. For example, in psychology, one aspect of a clinical interview is a determination of a patient’s capacity for good judgment. This refers to a person’s ability to ascertain the prudence of any action and to determine the trustworthiness of others. Persons who cannot make these sorts of judgments are considered to be psychologically disordered. In non-psychological language, this capacity for good judgment is called wisdom. Wisdom has been extolled though the ages, and, so, neither is this sort of judging meant when we are told not to judge our neighbor.

 
Forbidden Judgment

Then what kind of judging is forbidden to us?

Well, it’s a special kind of judgment, something given to Christ alone.

Nor does the Father judge anyone, but He has given all judgment to His Son.

—John 5:22

And what does this judgment entail? Saint John explains:

Whoever rejects Me and does not accept My words has something to judge him: the word that I spoke, it will condemn him on the last day.

—John 12:48

In other words, the judgment forbidden to us and given to Christ alone is the determination of whether any individual soul will enter the Kingdom of Heaven or whether that soul will, by its own actions, condemn itself to Hell.

Entering into the Kingdom of Heaven is not a simple matter of saying the words, “I accept Jesus as my savior.” After all, many persons who claim to love God and who appear to be holy and pious have secret sins hidden within their hearts. Conversely, many persons who appear to be wretched sinners have sorrowful contrition hidden within their hearts. Because God’s patience allows us until the very last moment of life to repent our sins, our judgment occurs after death. No human, then—only Christ—can probe the depths of the human heart in its ultimate destiny, “for He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will manifest the motives of our hearts” (1 Corinthians 4:5).

Therefore, no one should attempt to say whether or not anyone will be saved because that judgment is reserved for Christ.

Notice that judgment can be positive or negative, and that we are forbidden to make either judgment.

You can commonly hear people saying things like, “He was such an evil man that I just know he’s burning in hell right now!” Well, no one but God knows whether that man repented his sins at the last moment of his life and found reconciliation with God.

Moreover, we persist in preempting Christ by making positive judgments in subtle ways. For example, it’s not uncommon to hear at a funeral, “Aunt Alice was such a kind and generous woman that she is with the angels in heaven right now!” Well, even one unrepentant mortal sin on Aunt Alice’s soul could have invalidated all the good she ever did, and so, like it or not, saying that she is in heaven is a judgmental act.

Also, when heretics make the claim that “everyone will go to Heaven,” they are presuming to make a judgment. It’s a positive judgment, yes, and they may be scandalized to think that in their attempts to avoid being judgmental they are actually being judgmental, but so it is.

 
Summary

No matter how much anyone hurts you, you should not even wish that anyone be condemned, because, even though many will be lost, Christ still does not desire the condemnation of anyone. When James and John wanted to call down fire from heaven to punish a town that had refused to welcome Jesus, He rebuked them (Luke 9:54-55). Why? Well, God is “patient . . . not wishing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

Nevertheless, we can—and must—warn others, without hatred or anger, when they commit sin. We have an obligation (see the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2088 and 1868) to call attention to error and to defend the faith. All of this is an act of love, not judgment—and we don’t have to be perfect in order to love.

 
Psychological Counsels

The way you say something can determine if it is judgmental or not. And, even if you say something that is not judgmental, be careful not to be hurtful.

“You wicked woman! You should be ashamed of yourself for dressing like that!” is judgmental and it is hurtful. In saying that the woman is wicked, you are judging the woman’s being. Plus, you are trying to shame her into changing her behavior. 

“It’s a wicked thing to dress like that.” is not judgmental. You are saying that the behavior, not the woman is wicked. Moreover, you are not telling her what to do,[1] you are stating a fact that she can use or not, as she wills, to determine her own course of action.

 

 

What the Catechism of the Catholic Church says:

2088 The first commandment requires us to nourish and protect our faith with prudence and vigilance, and to reject everything that is opposed to it.

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:
—by participating directly and voluntarily in them;
—by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
—by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to
do so;
—by protecting evil-doers.

 
___________

1. Trying to change the behavior of others will only cause stress, along with physiological complications such as high blood pressure, when others refuse to do what you want them to do. Moreover, the obstinacy of others will be a wound to your pride, and that can drive you right into the snares of hatred and spiritual murder.

 

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Additional Resources
 
On “Chastity – In San Francisco?”:

The Sweet and Easy Way . . . but beware . . . the only escape from the darkness of sin is in seeking the light of the cross.
 
The Basic Concepts of Self-help —Sacrifice, Obedience, and Prayer
Spiritual Healing —how to heal emotional wounds the Christian way
Why San Francisco?
 
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
 
INDEX of all subjects on this website
 
CONTACT ME
 
Related pages within “A Guide to Psychology and its Practice”:
Anger: Insult, Revenge, and Forgiveness
Death—and the Seduction of Despair
Depression and Suicide
Dream Interpretation
Fear of Psychotherapy
Forgiveness
Identity: Pride and prejudice, loneliness and encounter
Sexuality and Love
Spiritual Healing
Spirituality and Psychology
The Unconscious
 
INDEX of all subjects on A Guide to Psychology and its Practice
 
SEARCH A Guide to Psychology and its Practice

 


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