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I was
sexually abused by my father and raped by my uncles. Now I’m a Lesbian,
and I know that God loves me.
 f course God
loves you. And he also loves fathers who abuse
their children. And he loves rapists. And, if you read the Gospels, you will
find not only that he loves tax collectors and prostitutes as well, but also
that he has a special concern for the sick, the wounded, the poor, and all
other “outcasts” from society. God loves all
individuals.
God’s
love for us, however, is not an “anything goes,
I’m OK, you’re OK” kind of sentimental acceptance.
 To say that God loves us means that God calls us away
from our sins into a life of holiness. As
Saint Thomas Aquinas explained, to love is “to will the good of
another” (St. Thomas Aquinas, STh I-II, 26, 4, corp. art.).
Therefore, God, in his love for us, calls us to a life of holiness, looking
to our good and our salvation, knowing full well
that left to our own blindness and slavery
to sin we will end up in hell.
Rape
and incest are despicable crimes and grave sins. Yet in choosing to live
a life-style defiant of chastity you “act out” the emotional pain
of your abuse. That is, instead of seeking to heal
the emotional wounds of the abuse through
forgiveness and trust in God,
you use your bodily sexuality to express the confusion
and bitterness you feel about the failure of your mother and father to protect
you from abuse.
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In healthy
psychosexual development, the daughter’s bond of dependent
neediness on the mother must be broken through her affection for her
father. By “coming between” the daugher
and the mother, the father ensures that the girl will eventually be able
to give of herself to her own husband and children in holy service
to God. But the master-slave dialectic by which one woman offers herself
in total submission to another woman represents an angry rejection of the
father’s proper symbolic protection of the
family.
Moreover, the mannish affectations of the “master” in an unchaste
relationship represent an identification with masculine brutality—which,
in psychological language, is called
identification with the aggressor.
The master-slave dialectic also makes a mockery of true
motherly love by reducing the mother’s love
to caricatured extremes: the “mother’s” complete domination
of the “child,” and the “child’s” complete submission
to the “mother.” |
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So, in his
true love for you, God constantly calls you away
from the unconscious anger at your parents that
will lead you into spiritual self-destruction,
and he calls you into the way of holiness. Just as Christ himself forgave
those who persecuted him, you, too, can forgive
those who hurt you, taking up your cross and
following Christ in chastity and
obedience—rather than make a mockery of divine
love and protection.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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