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[My abusive
mother left her house] to me when she died and it’s legally mine,
but it will, in reality, always be my mother’s house. My neighbors,
sweet as they may be, constantly remind me how I’m not doing things
like my mother did and maybe I’m doing that on purpose. I don’t
know. It’s not the house I grew up in, however, so there are no childhood
or even unpleasant memories associated with this house, other than she died
here. . . . She was an immaculate housekeeper and I’m not. When I’m
at home, I’m either reading or writing, and keeping house and washing
dishes just isn’t on my radar screen until it’s absolutely necessary.
Maybe that’s a revenge factor on my part that I wasn’t aware of.
I just figured it was because reading is a more important activity, for me,
anyway. Do you have any comments about this?
 he issue about neatness and cleanliness
is really a profound issue of love. When you care
about a possession, you consequently want to keep it in good
condition.
It’s the same for creation
itself. When we really, really understand that God created this world, we
are moved to take good care of it. Environmental abuse—even the act
of spitting on the ground or throwing a
cigarette butt on the sidewalk—shows us
up as hypocrites if we claim to love God.
And it’s the same for the
body. Anyone who really understands how the body is the
temple of the Holy Spirit would want to keep the
body well-groomed, modestly atired, free from
addictions, and properly nourished and
physically fit.
Think of chaos and filth, therefore,
as aspects of the demonic, whereas cleanliness and
order are aspects of the holy. If you respect your environment as an aspect
of a holy life, you will be pained to see dirt and disorder
anywhere.
Although your mother was a meticulous
housekeeper, she certainly wasn’t holy, or she wouldn’t have abused
you. You know she was a hypocrite, and that angers
you. You want to throw her cleanliness back in her face so that you can get
the satisfaction of showing her what a fraud she was. Therefore, your allowing
dirt to accumulate in your (her) house is the expression of
anger. The
dirt symbolizes your hatred for her. And your reading
is just an intellectual way of ignoring the hatred that is always right under
your nose.
Your allowing this disorder,
therefore, is an unconscious attempt to punish God because of the hurt your
mother caused you. Nothing will ever be resolved this way. Revenge does not
heal anything—it only adds to the dirt. Revenge is just another stroke
of the whip on Christ’s back, more spittle on His face, another kick
in His stomach. Allow yourself, therefore, to see the dirt—the dirt
of your hatred—and then, through prayer, fasting, and
forgiveness, clean up the mess.
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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Huh? Freewill website?