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What
about marriage then, as a holy union, especially when procreation is not
possible?
 n speaking about Holy Matrimony,
first it’s important to understand one thing: Christ taught us plainly
that Holy Matrimony is not for
everyone.
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[His] disciples
said to Him, “If that is the case with a man and his
wife [1],
it is better not to marry.” He answered, “Not all can accept [this]
word, but only those to whom it is granted. Some are incapable of marriage
because they were born
so [2];
some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced
marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whoever can accept this ought
to accept
it.” [3] |
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—Matthew 19:10-12 |
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This tells us that Holy Matrimony
is a gift from God. Although some persons do not receive that gift, and although
some persons pass it by for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, anyone who
can accept the gift must also accept the strict conditions
under which it is given. Christ’s own words show us, therefore, that
Holy Matrimony is not some sort of civil “right,” or some sort
of way to avoid feelings of loneliness.
Now, to get to the intent of
your question, several possibilities can be considered in regard to the meaning
of procreation not being “possible.” It could be that a person
is incapable of functioning reproductively because of a birth defect or physical
injury. It could be that a husband and wife discover that they are infertile.
It could be that a post-menopausal woman is considering matrimony again after
having been widowed. Or it could be that a woman who has been single all
her life now, in her later years, has met a man who suggests Holy
Matrimony.
Well, in the first case, a person
physically incapable of reproduction could, as long as there are no other
impediments to Holy Matrimony, enter into matrimony with the plan of forming
a family by adopting children. Adoption would also be a possibility for an
infertile couple already bound by the sacrament
of Holy Matrimony.
In the third case, it can be
asked whether either the man or the woman has any children still young enough
to benefit from a holy family with both a mother and a father; if so, a new
matrimonial union for the person with the children would be a great benefit
to the children.
As for the fourth case, it should
be asked how Holy Matrimony in this case would serve God. If the only purpose
of taking the sacrament were to provide personal pleasure and companionship,
then how would that be of service to God? You simply cannot be Christian
if you look for emotional fulfillment in another
person:
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If anyone comes
to me without
hating [4]
his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even
his own life, he cannot be My disciple. |
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—Luke 14:26 |
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What, then, should such a person
do? Well, consider that a chaste single life under those conditions while
pursuing an individual or communal life of prayer and service to others in
the greater family of the Church would serve God far more than a
“marriage” of convenience.
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To be able to
endure feeling rejection and loneliness, to continue on in
humility, and not to think that you deserve far
better is a real blessing, especially if you can feel this way for the honor
of God, and if you do so willingly. |
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—Thomas à Kempis
The Imitation of Christ,
Bk 2, Ch 9: “Of Emptiness”
(Trans. by William Creasy) |
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And, in lieu of procreation,
those persons could turn their attention to the Kingdom of Heaven and work
for the salvation of those souls already born.
___________
1.
That is, considering that remarriage after divorce is adultery (Matthew
19:9).
2.
That is, they were born with a physical defect making them incapable of the
sexual faculty.
3.
That is, anyone who is capable of marriage and who chooses to get married
(rather than renounce marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven) has
to accept the fact that remarriage after divorce is adultery.
4.
Hate as used here does not mean “to wish harm to.” Instead
it means “to remove your emotional dependence on.”
No
advertising—no sponsor—just the simple truth . . .
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Huh? Freewill website?