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Psychological Healing
in the Catholic Mystic Tradition

Questions and Answers

I have been dating a guy for 4 months, and he told me that he was 10 years in jail, for murdering his then girlfriend, by stabbing her several times with a knife, for having sexual relations with a different guy. I feel the need to continue dating him, to everyone’s alarm (friends and family).
 
Yet we both had dreams that I think reveal our unconscious thoughts. Mine of wanting to run away and his of (I want to believe) fear of maybe hurting me. (From what I could interpret, with the help of the advice on your page.)
 
He dreamed that I was a queen and he was running after a guy who treated me disrespectfully verbally; a silly thing like saying you, instead of a more formal way.
 
I dreamed I was going up the stairs with my brother; this task was imperative and we had to get there first, other people were also climbing, this girl got in the way, so I pulled her, she hit her neck and died in front of me. I feel guilty.
 
I’m receiving treatment for anxiety and a psychotic episode I had, one day in 2020 after receiving a message from my ex-husband by law (we didn’t get married by the church, we lived together for 5 years, and he tried to kill me after I confronted him for cheating on me, and I feel guilty for this) and then, going to Mass, I felt very afraid someone would hurt me, and I could see the devil in human form speaking to the people around me. At some point, when I arrived to the hospital, I heard the howl of the beast. (I was taken there because people started noticing I didn’t want to be alone, and I showed superhuman strength, holding several people with me and not wanting them to leave.) I was in a psychiatric ward for 3 weeks due to this. More recently a couple of months before I met this new guy, I started feeling afraid again and heard people praying with me, so I had to start with treatment again.
 
Do you believe this new guy deserves a chance with me?

 
Tlthough it might seem that you are entangled in an unusual and unique situation, I have seen this kind of situation before.

The matter does involve the devil, and I call it a matter of the devil trying to “kill two birds with one stone.” But, before I explain that, let’s examine the background dynamic of your situation. 

The dynamic of the case begins with some secret sins in your parents’ lives, sins that likely occurred before you were born. Being secret and unspoken, the sins have lingered in your parents’ lives, unrepentant. The emotional effects of their sins have tormented you since childhood, quite likely causing odd emotional disruptions throughout your childhood. The psychological and spiritual result of this torment was that you came to believe that it was your responsibility to “save” your parents. Through disordered spiritual beliefs, you have been convinced, as a diabolical curse, that, to carry out this responsibility, you must sacrifice yourself to the devil to save your parents. [1] This sacrifice can take many forms, but they all amount to some form of self-sabotage that constantly inflicts failure in your life.

As time passes in this tormented state, things can come to a crescendo when you experience some stressful event, and then you have a psychotic break where the insane reality of the curse erupts into your awareness. The break, however, isn’t schizophrenia; instead it’s a short lasting, self-resolving period—two or three weeks—that in psychiatric terms is called a Brief Psychotic Reaction.

So, let’s use this model to explain what has been occurring in your life.

Your marriage to your “ex-husband by law” is an example of an unconscious act of self-sabotage. Not only did you violate Church law by marrying him, thus jeopardizing your soul, but you picked a man who was extremely dangerous; that is, he could have killed you—and that would have been a “perfect” fulfillment of your self-sacrifice. Getting this close to the sacrifice sent you into the psychotic episode.

Now, you have taken up with another dangerous man, setting up another possibility of your sacrifice. And now you are again in danger of another psychotic break. This time, however, your dream has given you a warning.

In your dream, you encountered an “imperative task,” which signifies your mission of saving your family with your self-sacrifice. The girl that got in the way signifies you; that is, you had to kill her (i.e., sacrifice her) to carry out the mission. The guilt that you felt after killing her (just like other guilt you have felt) signifies your misunderstanding on the conscious level of the actual unconscious meaning of your behavior.

(As for this new guy, his dream reveals the dynamic of his violence: he is possessed by the insane belief that his “mission” is to kill anything that gives the appearance of disrespect. Thus, your tendency to confront others about their failures (as you did with your “ex-husband by law”), if carried out with this new guy, will likely get you killed. So, if you want to break the curse of your false belief, stay away from him.)

And now we get to the diabolic trick of the devil that can kill two birds with one stone. In all of this, the devil is holding out to you the (false) belief that you can save your parents from their sins by sacrificing yourself to doom. But such a false belief will prevent you from working out the salvation of your own soul and seeking spiritual growth rather than spiritual sabotage; furthermore, in failing to put your efforts into living a pure spiritual life, you will fail to offer holy fasting and prayers for your parents that they might repent and confess their sins. Hence your false sacrifice will only send you to hell; it won’t save anyone from anything—and it will leave your parents stuck in their unrepentance and likely doom. And there the devil’s trick is revealed: if you continue to be duped by him, the devil not only gets your soul, he also gets the souls of your unrepentant parents. So, there you have it: Two birds (actually three) killed with one stone (i.e., one diabolical lie).

 


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Notes

1. This theme occurred in the movie The Exorcist, but the movie got it wrong. At the end of the movie, the priest says to the devil, “Leave her [the possessed girl] and take me.” Sure enough, the devil did take the priest. But in reality, the devil would not have let the girl go free; he would have taken both of them, laughing at the priest all the way. The devil does not make bargains or keep promises; he lies to anyone who is foolish enough to believe him.

 

 

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