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So then,
let’s say that we are not seeking to be loved, but rather to love. And
let’s say that we understand that to love means to give love, that it
is an action verb—that to love means to promote the well-being of another,
to extend oneself for the good of another. And let’s say that after
all the mistakes in interpreting love, possibly over several decades, we
understand that we cannot heal our broken selves through another—not
through their body, their head, their spirit, etc. And let’s say that
we understand and are now willing to accept the context of a loving male/female
relationship; i.e. within the Lord’s context. And we can say it’s
a given to want this—after all, the Lord created woman from man so that
man would not be alone. She is of him. She wants a him and he wants a
her—partners to share whatever. . . . Obtaining it and maintaining it
within the Lord’s context is our challenge. And so let’s say we
are ready for that, in the right way, that our will is His will. We
cannot expect perfection, for only Christ was that, but we can still seek
it. We can aspire to love perfectly. What then are the odds that we will
find, and recognize, another who is at the same point, or at least of the
same will, so that we engage in a healthy relationship? And if we don’t,
then what becomes of the yearning to generate and nurture a union that is
more than the sum of two individuals?
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 ell, you say it all very eloquently.
And when we get to those final questions, what then? That’s where we
simply have to remain “within the Lord’s context,” as you
say, and trust in God.
Christianity has nothing to do
with odds or fortune or luck; instead, it’s
all about total dependence on God. Seek first His Kingdom and His
righteousness, and all these things shall be
yours as well
(Matthew 6:31-33). So, if there is “another who is at the same point,
or at least of the same will,” then God will arrange the meeting. And
if such a meeting is not in God’s plan, then we should accept that fact,
without grumbling or complaining.
Holy
Matrimony, after all, is not for
everyone.
But to “love perfectly”
is for
everyone because that is what Christianity is all about:
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My
love so delights the soul that it destroys every other
joy which can be expressed by man here below. The taste of Me extinguishes
every other taste; My light blinds all who behold it . . . |
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—as told to Saint Catherine
of Genoa
Spiritual Doctrine, Part III, Chapter VII |
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Sadly, our
secular culture, lost in its own
humanistic emptiness, has made idols of
“romance” and “partners in lust”
as the gods of happiness. Even those who think they are Christian
fall into the deception of their seductive
allure. And oh, the many cases of insomnia, anxiety, and
depression that result from it all!
But if you are truly willing
to be Christian and to surrender your self
to the great love for Christ, then you have found at last the deep
“yearning to generate and nurture a union that is more than the sum
of two individuals.” When any soul enters into union with Christ, the
two become more than two “individuals,” for the soul literally
enters into union with God Himself. There is no greater
desire than to desire this perfect
love.
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If, then, I am
no longer
seen or found on the common,
you will say that I am lost;
that, stricken by love,
I lost myself, and was found. |
—Saint John
of the Cross,
The Spiritual Canticle,
The Poem, Stanza 29
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